Life is Short

Why does it take death to realize that life is short? We have to experience such pain and heartache. It hurts especially when you know the person/people that died. Taking the lives hurt the most because we never had the time to say goodbye. Goodbye, make wrongs to right, ask forgiveness or give the forgiving. That pain may or may not be healed. So don't forget to love, forgive, and enjoy one another. Because you will never know when the last time you will see the person. Life is way to short, so say what you need to say, and love one another.

Freedom is Beautiful

She went to the one place that she could be free. The small creek in the woods. She always went there as a kid to be who she wanted to be. As she got older she used it as a get away and to be free. Free from the pressures of the world, having to growing up, and just get away from the family.
Well today she went to the place that makes her free because of you. You broke her heart in pieces. She went there to cry and try to let her heart heal from the brokeness she feels. As the tears fall and watch the tears hit the water. She watched the ripples and realized that as the ripples fade away, the pain will too. She was finally free from the fact that she was hurt. She will know the pain for awhile, but she knows it will fade...She also knows that you will fade too.

I don't know you

I don't know who you are
but I know what you did

because I had to pick up the pieces
of the heart that you broke

I can't fix the broken pieces
because there is nothing i can do

No words, no advice,
no hugs, no comfort works

I have never seen so much pain,
tears, tissues, and brokeness

I don't know you
but I know what you did

Here I am at this point of my life

ok the last blog was about the look....yes it broke my heart all over again...but surprising the pain did not take long to get over.... I am glad of this.

People ya want to know something....
I AM NOT HANDICAPPED :)

I am just different....made in God's image and I have made it this far in God's plan in my life.. I was upset that I was seen for my "handicap." God used it to show me how far I have come and to trust that He is going to use my difference to make a difference in the world. My mindset was I knew that I had this disability by what I had to experiences that I faced. I knew that God had a plan in it. But that mindset was I have a handicap, but that mindset has changed. I am normal(whatever that may be), but just different. Yes I may walk differently, clumsy most of the time, one arm ability most of the time, but that makes me special and different. God has given me this life to live and I am going to live the best I can be with his help of course.
Here is a challenge.....Accept the differences of others, you may never know how it will change your life. and in turn will make you different also.

So here I am in this point of life...taking 21 years to realize this, but I AM DIFFERENT...and that mindset will not be changed. My heart is healed from this pain forever, but does not mean it won't hurt when judgemental looks come, laughs, or stares are given. It just means that I know that the hurt won't turn into pain...

Wow whoever reads this, I am sorry it is a book, but you made it through..

Thanks Christina...for the book...she is a great inspiration.

The End

Alright junior year has come and gone. Where did it go? No clue...Enjoyed the ride and having no regrets. Now it is time to say goodbye to the class of 09. I probably will cry at the graduation. I am going to miss them very much. I am excited that they are going to start their lives what they have studied for soo long....
3.0 for the semester....yay me! I am totally excited...This gives me hope that I will make it through the next year and a half in the psychology program... Still praying hard and keepin the faith...

Summer plans are not set in stone, but random trip to columbia for a weekend sounds pretty nice, when school and work will get in the way of fun. or just somewhere random would be nice.. just a weekend away from it all....yay!!!!!!!!!

That is all for now.. Peace

Idiot

I am an Idiot....enough said!!!!!!

Past relived again

Yesterday I received a look that I have not received in years. I received here at NGU. I would have never thought I would have seen this look ever again. Again I was looked at my outer apperance than my smile/heart. Honestly I was cut deep and hurt. I thought I would never I have to feel those feelings again. When I thought my heart was healed, which it was, but it was reopened by that look.
To that person(s)-It is not my fault that I have cerebral palsy. It is not my fault that my balance is off and I trip over my feet all the time. It is not my fault and it is the cause of sin. I hope that you get convicted of this. Actually I am glad that I have cerebral palsy because that I know who I am and what a blessing it is. Yes it took a little bit of pushing and encouragement to get where I am today. I still need that encouragement, so give me a smile and not the look that I am disgusting or I look stupid. Honestly I think you actually looked stupid giving the look. I am just normal as you. So don't judge a book by the cover. Yet the pain is still there I am not going to let it get me down. Now I have said this you have my forgiveness.

To those that have been there for me with encouragement THANK YOU!!!! :-)