Live for you

I watch not far away
I see the pain in your eyes

I see the hurt behind
that fake smile

I want to fix
the heartache
that you have

You are keeping me out
you have lost all sense
of what is life's worth

You think that there is nothing
nothing to live for

but baby there is
live for you

Don't live for anyone else
They will hurt you

By being human
Live for you

because once you start living
for you

The sense of worth of life
will be all as it should be

Another vent

Ok I saw my teacher today and we talked about it and I think I am going to withdraw from the course and catch up next semester and hopefully still graduate a semester late...I do pray this in many many ways. I don't feel as a failure anymore, but still feel like a quitter. I guess that is something I will have to deal with. I am exhausted for no reason today, but the pain in the body is still there and the headache has not been all day. I am kinda scared about all this pain tho...it is all up and down my back and on my sides and arms or what not...I guess I should be grateful that it is not all the time, just shooting pains. It still hurts when it does it though. I think all my muscles are inflamed or something because of the stress that my body goes through during school. blah....ok I am done venting...maybe a poem will be later...don't know

Venting is what I do best

ok soo no poems or anything today... I am just here to vent....I have had these stupid headaches everyday now and they seem that they will never go away. The only time i have any relief is probably in my sleep. I hope nothing seriously wrong... I am going to try holding off on going to the doctor until after may 7. I don't want to worry about it, but a headache is a headache and I am tried of them. Also I am having these random shooting pains in all of my body. It feels like my muscles are going against me. Idk! All I know is that God is in control and things will be ok, even though maybe there is something wrong with me. Anyway another thing is that I just got told that I might have to drop my pssrw class. I really do not want to do that. I mean I put sweat and tears in that class, and still can't get the grades. Maybe it is for the best. Idk.. Talking to the teacher tomorrow. I will not let this class get the best of me, I am sticking to psychology and i am enjoying it much.. So there PSSRW...you will not take me down. I think that is all about for now...Yep I feel better, since I can't really verbalize this to anyone. Listening hmmm...Anyway that is a different story....
Peace Out

In my Dreams

In my dreams...
I see you...

Being dragged away
Beating you until

You can't stand up
Yet you do not say a word

I watch you
with tears in my eyes

Screaming it is not fair
He has done nothing wrong

My words are drowned out
by the crowd

They make you carry that burden
up to the top of the hill

I can still hear the noise
that hit against your skin

Then you speak
Asking forgiveness

Not for you
but for me

In my dreams
I see that over and over again

I wake up
and Thank you

for dying
so that I could LIVE

Life Must Go On

I am standing on the sidelines
Watching the world go by
I feel invisible
As my heart breaks
The darkness is here
The light is getting dimmer
I want to see this light again
I am reaching out
And it seems to get further away
I can’t do it by myself
I cry out to God
I need help Lord
I can’t see the light anymore
Darkness has wrapped around me
Please pull me out of the darkness
I want my life to go on
I want to be healed
And I want to Go for you
I don’t want to be on the sidelines
I want to move with the world
God I see the light…
Now my life can move on

The Whisper of God

I am Broken Hearted
I have Broken Tears
I have a Broken Spirit
I have a Broken Soul
I am crumbling
As the pain takes over
It is too much pain to bear
I hear a whisper….
Be Still
Know that I am God
I know your pain
I know what it means to be broken
Trust me
I will carry you
Have faith
And I get you through
I am the almighty Healer
I will heal your wounds
Trust and have faith in me
You will be healed my child

Can't Stop You

I am scared…
Scared of what you have to tell
But I can’t stop you
From telling me
I don’t want to hear it
I am not listening
Don’t tell me I have to listen
I won’t do it
Stop talking
I am frighten
I have never felt like this before
I don’t want to feel this way
Fear of what might happen
Fear of what I might say
Don’t let me live in this fear
Stop speaking
I am scared
Scared of what you have to tell
But I still can’t stop you
From telling me