The Whisper of God

I am Broken Hearted
I have Broken Tears
I have a Broken Spirit
I have a Broken Soul
I am crumbling
As the pain takes over
It is too much pain to bear
I hear a whisper….
Be Still
Know that I am God
I know your pain
I know what it means to be broken
Trust me
I will carry you
Have faith
And I get you through
I am the almighty Healer
I will heal your wounds
Trust and have faith in me
You will be healed my child

Can't Stop You

I am scared…
Scared of what you have to tell
But I can’t stop you
From telling me
I don’t want to hear it
I am not listening
Don’t tell me I have to listen
I won’t do it
Stop talking
I am frighten
I have never felt like this before
I don’t want to feel this way
Fear of what might happen
Fear of what I might say
Don’t let me live in this fear
Stop speaking
I am scared
Scared of what you have to tell
But I still can’t stop you
From telling me

Your hand slipped from mine
and you walked away

You did not even look back
As the tear rolled down my face

You were the only one that
could stop the tears and make me smile

I knew everything would be ok
because you were by my side

Now the tears will flow
as I am on my own

Maybe there will be one
that will stop these tears

that you caused
and heal my broken heart

So it is Wednesday, and I get to go home for Easter. I am excited because last year I was not with my family for Easter for the first time. My family was upset. It is ok though I am able to be home this time. I have to treasure every time I go home. I do not think my grandparents are not going to be here on the earth too much longer(I am hoping that they live at least a few more years). Today I had my RA interview, which I knew that I already had in the basket anyway. They love me and they were not going to let me go. Then I studied, wrote a little on the paper, laughed a lot with Lyn and Lesa, prob and stats study session, and then dinner. It has been a GOOD day. I have not had one of those in a long time. Maybe the excitement has made it that way. I am thankful God made a good day. He is always makes the day good no matter what. I am learning all over again, to trust in him completely because HE IS THE LORD and I need him for everything and I should not worry. This week has been an eye opener, I have been humbled and loved by Him. That makes me smile. Wow I am writing a flippin paragraph. I do not care. As in the last post, My heart has been bleeding for others. I just found out that my cousin and his wife are having a splitting spell. I am bleeding more for her than him. I do not know why, maybe it is she needs it the most. I am scared their kids are thinking. I pray that they are not hearing this crazy mess and I hope that they don't blame themselves for the parents problems. I just want to go get them and bring them here. My friend(not mentioning any name) I am also bleeding for, she is just hurting and in pain of what she is going through. There is so much more that I am bleeding for and there is nothing I can do, but PRAY. That is what I am going to do. Wow ok this is a book, I am going to stop now and rest a little while.
Peace Out

Heartache

My heart is bleeding...
Not for me
For those that are hurting
I hate watching the pain
that speaks through your eyes
I can see past that smile
I can see past the words
I am Good...
My heart bleeds for you
I am wanting to fix it
I know I can't do it
But God can
So I will take my heart
to him for you
But you must take your heart
to him as well
He can stop the bleeding
for both of us

My thoughts won't stop

My mind won't stop....My thoughts are scaring me... I don't know why....
My mind is racing and I am getting more scared as they race..
They are bringing up the past
They are bring up the old memories
The hurt, the pain, the anger
Why does the Devil have a hold on my thoughts
God beat Him to the ground
I don't want to have these thoughts
Oh God Please

Along time...no write

It has been awhile since I have written on this thing....I can't believe that I have not done this..It usually makes me feel better.
It has been kinda a long semester....
To sum it all up in a couple sentences....Seizure, doctor visits, loss of two friends, school and stuff that is happening at home. ok I summed it up in one sentence.

My heart is really torn again
I feel like I am being ripped in two
Maybe more than two
I am supposed to be here at NGU
yet my heart aches to be home
I am trusting in the Lord
yet my human nature gets in the way
My heart is healing from the deaths
Physically I am still healing
Yet I still have a smile on my face
when I am crying inside
I am hurting and I hide it well
Trusting in the Lord for healing
That I can find peace and understanding
That is all I need...


Oh yeah my heart has been pasted on blog spot...No one actually reads this...I do not think...If they do I pray they see things through my eyes...I am tired of trying to share my emotions with the world when they do not care... I am me people, get used to it and start caring for others not just me.. An ear goes a long way..